Poster Child of Foobs

A good friend of mine (hi Jodi!) recently gave me a t-shirt that says:

Yes, they're fake.  

The real ones tried to kill me.

How much do I love this!?  SO MUCH.  I cannot wait to wear this shirt in public!  I look forward to taking my foobs (fake boobs) out in public and telling my survivor story.

Unfortunately, it will have to wait because I still have my damn drains in.  ARGH!

Today I'm exactly 2 weeks post-op, and I had hoped this would be the day my drains would come out, but alas, I was deemed not quite ready.  Close.  But not quite.  The nurse said maybe they can come out on Friday.  Well, let's hope so, because it has been two weeks since I've had a shower and I'm worried I'm becoming...  savory.  Or unsavory, as the case may be.  But let's not dwell on that...

Even though I didn't get my drains out today, I did get my sutures out.  It's something!

But you wanna know what the highlight of my appointment today was?  It was when the nurse called me the "poster child of breast reconstruction" and said they want to use my before and after photos in their brochures. 

Wait.  What???  My humble foobs will be used as an example of my plastic surgeon's best work!?  What a huge, and somewhat bizarre honor!!! 

I hold four US Patents, I am a certified Project Management Professional, and I have an engineering degree from one of the best engineering universities in the country.  But being the Poster Child of Reconstructed Foobs may well be my greatest accomplishment in life.  Or maybe my foobs should be my plastic surgeon's greatest accomplishment in life.  Either way, someone has accomplished greatness and should be recognized! 

In somewhat related news, I have an appointment scheduled with a medical oncologist in mid-December.  He will likely recommend further testing that will determine whether I would benefit from chemotherapy and/or hormone therapy.  Given what we already know about my cancer (that it is hormone receptor positive, meaning it grows in response to the presence of estrogen and progestrone), it is almost certain he will recommend hormone suppression therapy.  But chemo is more of a grey area, since my cancer was caught early (stage 1) and my lymph nodes were clear.  There are tests such as Oncotype DX and Mammaprint that can determine the likelihood of breast cancer recurring or metastasizing.  If this test comes back high risk, chemo is recommended.  If it comes back low risk, chemo would have little, if any, benefit.  These tests can take several weeks, as they are looking at dozens of different genes in the tumor for various risk factors.  Plus I am still waiting on the results of my DNA testing to determine if I carry any breast cancer genes (this is completely different from the tumor testing).  So I guess the next couple of months will be a lot of "wait and see".  But don't worry, my friends; as soon as I get any news on any of these fronts, you'll be the first to know!

In the mean time, I will spend my time admiring my foobs and working on my best pose for my "after" photos.  What do you think?  Should I flex my bicep?  Put a little attitude into my hip?  There are just so many ways I could go with this, artistically speaking!  The options are truly endless!